Deer Are the Spawn of Sauron
by WhispersOfStarlight
Summary: (Or the Real Reason Lord Elrond Won't Visit Mirkwood...) Written for Anon on the Hobbit-kink meme. Lord Elrond's afraid of deer, Thranduil's mean, the elk's confused and Lindir is stuck in the middle of it all. Short Drabble


Lindir upon entering the library set down a tray of fruit on the balcony table overlooking the gardens.

"Lord Elrond?"

No response came.

After turning and seeing that his lord's desk was a complete mess, moved to it and began to straighten and organize the papers.

He stilled upon seeing the royal seal of King Thranduil among them.

He picked it up reading it quickly.

**_'Lord Thranduil of The Greenwood and his son Prince Legolas Greenleaf will be arriving in one week's time for their annual visit._**

**_Please see to the proper preparations and a stable suitable in size for his steed.'_**

He cursed under his breath.

_'Not again.'_

Lord Thranduil would be making his annual visit to Rivendell.

And like the last three times he will bring that giant elk with him.

He always does.

Lindir was sure that he did it on purpose, just to set Lord Elrond off into a panic.

_'Lord Elrond's probably hiding in the map room again.'_

He rolled his eyes.

For all the wisdom Lord Elrond had, he could be such a child at times.

/ ~ / ~ / ~ /

Lindir knocked on the door leading into the Map Reading Room.

"Lord Elrond."

No answer.

"Lord Elrond, you cannot hide from them."

"I will not hear it, Lindir. I will welcome King Thranduil and Prince Legolas into my home, but I will not, under no circumstances let that...thing enter Imladris."

Lindir gave an exasperated sigh.

"My lord, for as large as it is, it is quite harmless."

"Lindir, do you not realize what that thing is, what they all are?"

Linder pinched the bridge of his nose.

_'Here it comes...'_

As with the last three times Thranduil has brought the giant elk, Elrond launches into a heated rant.

"They are far too silent for their own good..."

_'As are elves at times...'_ Lindir added wordlessly, thinking of Elrond's rambunctious twin sons.

"They always have this glazed look to their eyes as if they are lifeless."

_'Apparently, you've never seen your reflection after your two day long reading sessions.'_

"Deer are the very spawn of Sauron! I will not allow any in the Last Homely House, no matter who it's master is!"

"They have just arrived."

The color drained from Elrond's face.

"No."

"You are the Lord of Imladris, you must greet them."

He violently shook his head.

"I will not."

Lindir inwardly groaned, feeling a headache coming on.

"It is your duty as the Lord of Rivendell to welcome all guests. No matter who or what they are."

"You welcome them."

"I already have."

Elrond smiled, "Then there is no need for me to do the same."

Lindir met his smile with an emotionless stare.

"King Thranduil asked for your prescence specifically."

Elrond groaned, placing his head in his hands.

For fear of causing disruption and an elf-king sized tantrum, he knew he could not refuse this request.

A dejected sigh reached his ears.

"Very well. I will greet them."

/ ~ / ~ / ~ /

The elk was no where to be seen.

_'Thank the Valar, he didn't bring it this time.' Elrond took a deep breathe and stepped out into the courtyard. He approached Thranduil and his son, a hand raised in greeting._

Lindir followed closely behind, shaking his head.

_'Thank the Valar, he didn't bring it this time.' _

"Mae Govannen, King Thranduil and Prince Legolas. Welcome to Imladris!"

A hot exhale of breathe hit the side of his face. Elrond turned and came face to face with the beast in question.

Lindir was quite proud of his master for not screaming like a young girl.

Elrond did not move, he was frozen in place and it wasn't until Lindir placed a hand on his shoulder that he did.

His lord flinched, shaking and gasping slightly.

He raised his hands up and slowly backed up until he was behind Lindir, grabbing his arms and pulling the young steward infront of him like a shield.

He glared at the creature from over Lindir's shoulders.

Thranduil stepped up to the creature, scratching its muzzle.

"Ah, there you are, my friend. I was wondering where you had gotten off to. Did you find your stable?"

Lindir looked and saw that Thranduil eyes danced with amusement.

Prince Legolas had a hand over his mouth, eying his father in a mix of anger and humor.

The steward in training gave a long-suffering sigh, yet again pinching the bridge of his nose.

_'Why me?'_


End file.
